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Quotations from
Mark Twain
[1835-1910]
![headshot of Mark Twain [1835-1910] in a white suit](images/MarkTwain_whitesuit.jpg "headshot of Mark Twain [1835-1910] in a white suit") | Mark Twain {the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens} was an American humorist, satirist, writer & lecturer. He is most noted for his novels "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" [1876] and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" [1885], but also for his travel writings and his numerous pithy quotes & sayings. |
Links are provided below for further investigation.
The references to WMail issues indicate quotes that appeared in the free monthly 'WMail' ezine [2000-2007]
connected with the revolutionary "Working Minds Philosophy of Empowerment" created by G.E. Nordell.
After WMail Issue #72 in October 2007, essays & quotations & news are being posted to the Dateline Chamesa blog
Mark Twain entry at Wikipedia
The Year of Mark Twain 2010
Mark Twain [1835-1910] Page at Spirit of America Bookstore
 | "The Complete Mark Twain Collection" for Kindle [2009]
Kindle Edition from Amazon Digital Services [12/2009] for $2.99 Over 300 works, "with active table of contents" |
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage
over the man who cannot read." {Issue #8}
"Always do right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest." {Issue #19}
"Clothes make the man; naked people have little or no influence in society." {Issue #36}
"All you need in this life are ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure." {Issue #36}
"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American
criminal class except Congress." {Issue #38}
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things [that] you didn't do
than by the ones [that] you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour.
Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." {Issue #43}
"When in doubt, tell the truth." {Issue #51}
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." {Issue #60}
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)." {blog 9/2018}
"The lack of money is the root of all evil." {Issue #63}
"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things:
freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them." {Issue #63}
"We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking. And out of it we get an aggregation which we consider a boon.
Its name is public opinion. It is held in reverence. Some think it the voice of God." {Issue #63}
"When I look around me, I am often troubled to see how many people are mad." {Issue #63}
"To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was a tautology." {Issue #63}
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." {Issue #65}
"Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense." {blog 11/2007}
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria." {blog 4/2008}
"If we would learn what the human race is at bottom, we need only
observe them during an election." {blog 2/2009}
"Courage is resistance of fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." {blog 10/2009}
"A newspaper is not just for reporting the news, it's to get people mad enough
to do something about it." {blog 10/2009}
"If you can't stand solitude, perhaps others find you boring as well." {blog 10/2009}
"It's noble to be good. It's nobler to teach others to be good, and less trouble." {blog 2/2010}
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." {blog 3/2010}
"In times of change, the Patriot is a scarce man; brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds,
however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a Patriot." {blog 4/2010 & 1/2022}
"The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become." {blog 4/2010}
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on
or by imbeciles who really mean it." {blog 1/2011}
"True irreverance is disrespect for another man's god." {blog 7/2011}
"Action speaks louder than words, but not nearly as often." {blog 8/2011}
"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." {blog 9/2011}
"Thunder is impressive, but it is the lightning that does all the work." {blog 9/2011}
"Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." {blog 10/2011}
"Patriotism is supporting your country all of the time and your government when it deserves it." {blog 12/2011}
"Circumstances make man, not man circumstances." {blog 12/2011}
"Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little
we think of the other person." {blog 4/2012}
"Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute
and cannot unite – but they all worship money." {blog 5/2012}
"Familiarity breeds contempt – and children." {blog 6/2012}
"Inherently, each of us has the substance within to achieve whatever our goals and dreams define. What is missing from each
of us is the training, education, knowledge, and insight to utilize what we already have." {blog 12/2012}
"To be busy is man's only happiness." {blog 3/2013}
"The two most important days in your life are the day [that] you are born and the day [that] you find out why." {blog 5/2013}
"I used to tell lies. But I gave it up. The field is overrun with amateurs." {blog 1/2014}
"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval." {blog 2/2014}
"The best way to cheer yourself [up] is to try to cheer somebody else up." {blog 4/2014}
"The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest." {blog 4/2014}
"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination." {blog 9/2014}
"October is a peculiarly dangerous month to speculate in stock. The others are July, January, September,
April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February." {blog 11/2014}
"I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it ceased to be one." {blog 3/2015}
"My books are water; those of the great geniuses [are] wine. Everybody drinks water." {blog 5/2015}
"The secret of getting ahead is getting started." {blog 8/2015}
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." {blog 9/2015}
"Comedy is British, wit is French, humor is American." {blog 10/2015}
"Never argue with an idiot, because bystanders don't know who the idiot is." {blog 11/2015}
"Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegatating in one little corner
of the earth all one's lifetime." {blog 4/2016}
"Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough." {blog 6/2016}
"The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow." {blog 7/2016}
"Give a man a reputation as an early riser, and he can sleep 'til noon." {blog 9/2016}
"When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind,
in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt
upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself. {blog 1/2017}
"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it." {blog 2/2017}
"Censorship is telling a man he cant have a steak just because a baby cant chew it." {blog 5/2017}
"[Anne of Green Gables is] the dearest, most lovable child in fiction since the immortal Alice." {blog 6/2017}
"History never repeats itself, but the kaleidoscopic combinations of the pictured present often seem to be constructed out of the broken fragments
of antique legends." - in 1874 edition of The Gilded Age: A Tale of To-Day {blog 10/2017}
"Don't argue with an idiot, they will just bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience." {blog 10/2017}
"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." - credited as Samuel Clemens {blog 3/2018}
"A pat on the back is a good thing, provided [that] it is low enough and hard enough." {blog 3/2018}
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." {blog 5/2018}
"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." {blog 8/2018}
"They did not know [that] it was impossible, so they did it." {blog 8/2018}
"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing
[that] you can do is keep your mind young." {blog 10/2018}
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" {blog 12/2019}
"Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief
denied even to prayer." {blog 5/2020}
"Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul." {blog 10/2021}
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying [that] I approved of it." {blog 10/2021}
"When we remember [that] we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained." {blog 5/2022}
"The Truth has no defense against a fool determined to believe a lie." {blog 7/2022}
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened." {blog 11/2022}
writing advice: "Substitute damn every time youre inclined to write very; your editor will delete it and the writing
will be just as it should be. {blog 12/2023}
"History doesnt repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
~~ Twain probably never said it, the quotes attribution is apocryphal
Mark Twain Quotations Not Yet Used on the Blog
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session." (1866)
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
"In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane."
"He will by and by convince himself that war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep
[that] he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception."
– in posthumous 'The Mysterious Stranger' (1969)
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."
"One most striking difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives."
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
also attributed to Robert Jones Burdette [1844-1902]
"May every liar be blessed with a good memory."
"The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all."
"Work is whatever a body is obliged to do. Play is whatever a body is not obliged to do."
"There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends."
"The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail.
The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible."
 | "The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations" [YA 1987] Edited by Alex Ayres Kindle Edition from HarperCollins [5/2010] for $9.99 Dover Thrift Editions 8¼x5¼ pb [12/98] for $2.50 {sic} HarperCollins 9¼x6 hardcover [9/87] out of print/many used |
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